Quotes:

"The learning stops when I'm talking"
-Jill, my english teacher

"Email? What the fuck was that?"
"He's obviously buying drugs...<points at man in painting>"
-Drama/Theatre Lecturer

"This is a question for the smart people on the Tube..." -Jay
"This isn't the Tube." -Chad, when we were on the Metro in Paris

"I went to Art School and I can't even draw the damn thing..."
-Keith, my photo teacher, on drawing a camera

"It must be weird being a dog... people pettin you all the time..."
-Justin

"If I were to study abroad in, like, China... I'd starve..."
-Ben, talking about not being able to use chop sticks

"Did you hear that what he said, 'Free beer, on the house, 20% discount.' Does that make sense to you?"
-Jay, as we were walking around north London

"She only has three openings, and there is like five applicants..."
-Ben

"...we're going in again..." -Lady giving a lecture
<wakes up> "We're going?!?" -Justin

"Is that SPERM on that lunch bag?!?"
-Chad, talking about a lunch bag's design/print

"Dude, I was on like.... 40grams of shrooms last night... yeah, when Big Ben was breathing..."
-Vivek

"I saw you... You're going to Hell!"
-Bob Craig, Tour Guide

"I have nothing against a threesome"

"I'm really getting annoyed with these echoes..." -Jay
"Talk quieter" -John
"That's the worst part... I don't have a really soft voice" -Jay

"I just pissed off a bunch of English guys and they're gonna beat me up Rugby style"
-Justin

"If she stopped buying bread it wouldn't break my heart. But if she stopped buying crumpets, I'd be so sad..."
-Justin

"I don't like drinking beer with toast, but my problem is the toast makes me thirsty, and the only thing I'm willing to drink is beer."
-Justin

"I'm not good at this cruise director bullshit"
-Jill, our teacher

"If chicken and corn were a woman, I'd marry her... and our children would be delicious."
-Matt

"If you mix Shereen, and Hitler.... you get Shitler"
-Matt

"She's so cute though" -Laura
"Yeah, and Cartman's cute too..." -Aaron

"If my shower was heated, I'd be fuckin jerkin off allll over England"
-Matt

"You've seen me kiss guys before..."
-Steven

"DUDE! LOOK AT THE BIG PURPLE CIRCLE!!!"
-Justin, talking about the London Eye

"I always leave one down, cuz you never know when you're going to need to get your shit out REAL quick."
-Matt, when someone pointed out that one of the button on his button fly jeans was down.
Logically, it's purely for sexual reasons.

"You seen that bug in America?!?"
-Justin, pointing to an insect on a wall

"I can't tell the difference between a hooker, and an English woman..."
-Justin

"You're a disgrace to humankind..."
-Some old lady on the Tube, after Justin said he was going to vote.

"AAHHHHH, I REMEMBER WHY WERE GONNA BUY THAT ALCOHOL...we were gonna drink it! Now we don't have any booze. <kicks the ground>"
-Justin, after we left Safeway

"Scuse me, you're not allowed to drink on the streets of Westminster" - Male Cop
"Oh, really? Sorry... I didn't know... Should I go back into the Tube station?" -Justin
"Yeah, we didn't know!" -Jenny
"Well, you can either dump it, or <makes drinking motion and throws head back" -Male Cop
<Justin stands and thinks>
"Do it man... Go for it" -John
<Justin starts chugging the rest of his Fosters>
<Female Cop starts laughing>
"Wow. Good Job. Thanks" -Male Cop
"Yeah, sorry. I didn't know we couldn't have beer here." -Justin
"It's fine. Just remember, it's five hundred pound fine. Have a good night." -Male Cop
<Cops walk away, Female Cop is still laughing>
"Holy shit. John, write that down. I don't want to ever forget that I was ORDERED by a cop, on the streets of London, to chug my beer. " -Justin